The Heights

Grace

2011-09-14T08:37:00.001-07:00

I've learned more about grace lately by seeing the contrast between those who extend it and those who expect it. It seems those who are most gracious, humbly expect less grace from others. While the ungracious virtually demand grace. I find that the ungracious are not neutrally lacking grace as a still day lacks wind. They are a vacuum of anti-grace, sucking in the favor and pity and long-suffering of all who surround them. The gracious are the opposite. The well of life in them flows out, showering their peers with a sweet rain of mercy.

Experiencing Radical Hospitality

2011-05-28T06:23:00.000-07:00

We recently transplanted to Las Cruces, NM. Our hope had been to close on our house prior to coming but despite the hard work and vigilant efforts of our realtor and banker, also our new friends, we were unable to do so. So Tuesday, I purchased a plane ticket and prepared to spend a week or more without my family as options for temporarily housing a family of seven and their four pets were slim. Those that did exist were prohibitively expensive. I shared my plans with my new pastor. In less than an hour, I got the call that began our experience with radical hospitality.

One of the elders of our church volunteered to take my family and our pets into their home. We have now spent three nights in a beautiful, brand new home, filling up their spare bedrooms. Gary and Pat Henderson have not withheld anything from us. They have shared their rooms, their food, their vehicles. They've allowed our pets to freely roam their home.

I have never experienced such intense hospitality. I and my family are awestruck and beyond grateful. Our time together is precious and I am aware that every minute I get with my family is made possible by these two incredibly generous people. We will be forever thankful.

We will also carry with us a heightened standard of hospitality.

The rest of our church family has also given us a warm welcome and we are looking forward to the church wide event that will serve as the official welcome. We are in love with our new church and community and overwhelmed by how God has showered His love on us through them.

Be Not Against Me Lord

2010-07-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

I was having my quiet time this morning, reading a little Jeremiah. Not really light reading but I was a little detached from God's declarations of wrath and redemption toward's Israel. Detached until I got hit in the head with a 2x4.

Jeremiah 23:29-32 reads, "Is not My word like fire" - the Lords's declaration- "and like a sledgehammer that pulverizes rock? Therefore take note! I am against the prophets" - the Lord's declaration- "who steal My words from each other. I am against the prophets" - the Lord's declaration- "who use their own tongues to deliver an oracle. I am against those who prophesy false dreams" - the Lords' declaration - "telling them and leading My people astray with their falsehoods and their boasting. It was not I who sent or commanded them, and they are of no benefit at all to these people" - the Lord's declaration.

It took my breath away as one who has been given the responsiblity to communicate the Lord's word to His people. What a powerful thing the Word is. Hard hearts beware, God's word pulverizes rock. What an enormous responsibility I've been given. From these verses I learn that I am not to take the words the Lord has given to another pastor, I should not consider it myself who is speaking when I preach but the Lord and that I should never try to sell my dreams and vision but trumpet the Vision God has for my church. Three times God says, "I am against the prophets."

Lord, please be not against me. Help me to seek your words, speak your words and see your vision.

Just His Robe

2010-04-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

A casual reading of Mark 5:25-34 could lead us to wonder if Jesus was limited in His knowledge of people and his surroundings. But a closer look reveals that is not the case. We know that Jesus often knew what people were thinking. He had the ability to know what was in the minds of people. But why then did He ask the question, "Who touched My robes?" I think the answer is found in the disciples response. They said, "You see the crowd pressing against You, and You say, 'Who touched me?'" The were thinking, "everybody is touching you, Jesus." Jesus asked the question to highlight the difference between those who were just bumping into Him and the one who reached out in faith.

So many people bump into Jesus. They go to church and bump into His name and His word and His people. They read His word and bump into His wisdom. But so few reach out to Him in faith. And I notice where He was in proximity to the sick woman. When she reached out to Him, He wasn't in Heaven. He was walking down the street of the town she lived in. He had already reached out to her and left virtually no distance between them. Touching His robe was just her outward demonstration of an inward spiritual reality, faith. She touched Jesus because she trusted Jesus.

Jesus, I'm reaching out to you. Your nearness is my good. I trust you. Please heal me.

The Dark

2010-04-19T14:22:00.000-07:00

When its dark, you are still there.
When I don't know how or where
Though I'm blind, you help me see.
I'll trust you because you love me.

Its dark today Jesus, I'm scared, alone
Be my light, please be my sun
Let the glory of you shine through.
I'm afraid of the dark but I trust you.

Crying out

2009-08-17T16:31:00.000-07:00

Its been I awhile since I journaled a quiet time. The summer really got away from me. I am out of Chronicles and into the Psalms. Reading the Gospel of Luke and Paul's letters. Reading the Psalms today was reassuring. I was reminded its ok to weep.

Women get a free pass on this one. Everybody expects women to cry. For some reason, girls like to cry. Guys don't understand this. What makes us even more confused is the prevalent mindset which says guys aren't supposed to cry, and weeping is cause for institutional commitment. From what I understand we are allowed a single, solitary tear when we are torn up inside. More than that and we are crybabies. We are supposed to choke down whatever emotional churning are squeezing our heart. That's the common understanding.

But I read Psalm 6:6. Written by David. David as in, "Saul killed his thousands and David his ten thousand." The warrior king with an elite team called his "mighty men" who followed him and were willing to die for him. He wrote, "I am weary with my sighing; every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with tears."

He was tired of being sad, so sad in fact that he was weeping until his sheets were dripping. Not the sole tear that dries before it gets to the edge of his cheek, but torrents of gut wrenching sobbing. In vs. 7, he says he is literally crying his eyes out. Stop reading if you don't want to hear a confession. I've been there. I've had those nights. They were times I had begun to be ashamed of until this morning. Then I realized the only sin in crying is forgeting that God has, "heard the voice of my weeping."

I'm still not a girl in that I'm not looking forward to the next time my heart breaks and gets tears all over my bed. But the next time, I'll weep on an altar and make a sacrifice of my tears. And I'll remember that He hears me, is not ashamed and sits with me, putting, "my tears in [His] bottle."

Father, strengthen my heart and soften my heart. Help me not to be ashamed of tears. Don't let me just cry but rather help me to cry out to You.

Forgiveness

2009-05-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

The world says "tolerate." The theology of toleration is a perverted form of grace. Some say it is gracious to just leave people to their sin and let them do what they want. But it is a twisted variation of grace. It is forgiveness divorced from consequence. Paul instructs the church at Corinth to first respond to the wrong in this way, "the punishment by the majority is sufficient for such a person." However, he goes on to say, "so now forgive and comfort him instead; otherwise, this one may be overwhelmed by excessive grief. Therefore, I urge you to confirm your love to him.

The world wants to just tolerate, which doesn't go far enough. Paul, however, warns us not to go overboard and so thoroughly punish the offender that he despairs and is overcome with grief. While God is serious about sin, He is also committed to restoration. Here Paul teaches that theology by putting forgiveness and comfort after the punishment. The world wants to drop punishment and forgiveness and just comfort people when they do those things which compared to absolute truth are considered sin. 2 Cor. 2:6-8 instructs us to punish, forgive and then comfort. How strong we would be if we held each other accountable, not with a fierce and terminal attitude toward sin but with a heart of true grace that is quick to address wrong, even quicker to forgive and always read to comfort and restore.

I love how Paul characterizes the work of comforting the restored sinner as "confirm[ing] your love to him."

Father, help me to love others enough to carry grace all the way through. Help me to rebuke, but then to confirm my love by forgiving and comforting them. Let your model of true grace strengthen your people.

A way out

2009-04-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

2 Chronicles 26:15, 16 is a dramatic turning point. Uzziah, the king, whose passing so greatly impacted Isaiah was at the height of his reign. He'd been faithful to the Lord. Vs. 15 records he had made "skillfully designed devices in Jerusalem to shoot arrows and catapult large stones for use on the towers and the corners." He had developed new military technology that gave Jerusalem a tactical advantage. He was famous even in foriegn lands. However, the secret of his success is revealed right at the pinnacle of his popularity, "... he was marvelously helped..." Helped by whom? Vs. 5 says that, "God gave him success." What a wonderful experience to be helped by the Lord, supported by Him to the degree that Uzziah could marvel at God's goodness.

"...he was marvelously helped until..." There was a limit to the help God provided. The day of "until" is a sad day.

What happend that God removed His help? Uzziah became strong. I am reminded that personal success and strength often lead to pride. I do not shun success but must be ever mindful that when I begin to believe myself to be strong, I MUST remember that I'm staring, "until" in the face. Vs. 16, "but when he became strong, he grew arrogant and it led to his own destruction."

Father, please help me to avoid the "until." Support me and strengthen me all the days of my life, because I will always need it. Help me never to think that my strength is my own. Remind me that I am animated dirt. Alive in Christ. Dead without Him.

Wholehearted

2009-04-15T07:36:00.000-07:00

King Asa is one of my favorite OT kings. Under his leadership Israel experienced revival. The temple was repaired. His pagan mother was deposed as a false queen. The list of his accomplishments is lengthy. My favorite part of his story is found in 2 Chronicles 15:17, "Asa was wholehearted his whole life." I hope that can be said about me at the end of my days. Wholehearted means a heart that is not divided in its loyalty's or passions.

Father, "give me a whole heart that I might fear Your Name."

Good Friday

2009-04-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

I came under conviction this week that I should not let this Friday pass like any other day. Easter gets all the billing with the bunny rabbits, eggs and flowers. There are the hunts and the chocolate and the candy and sunrise services. And oh yeah, we remember that a dead man came back to life. I cringe at how the world's celebration of Easter has eclipsed its heart. Each Easter we work hard as a family and I as a pastor to make sure the glory of the Resurrection is not lost in the frills of the holiday. I am proud of our church's egg hunt that gives us a venue to share the Gospel on Saturday. We provide a strong focus on the Resurrection on Sunday.

Easter is a special holiday. It is the day we celebrate Jesus victory over death. But I came under conviction that I've skipped the day Jesus paid for my sins. I've been so focused on Easter Sunday that I blow right past Good Friday.

So this Friday, I plan to change that. Scripture records four specific times on Good Friday related to Jesus' passion. At 6 a.m. he was being tried before Pilate and then beaten and scourged. At 9 a.m. He was nailed to the cross. At noon, darkness covered the land. And at 3 p.m. Jesus died for my sins.

This Friday I plan to be aware of these special times. Over breakfast, I'll meditate on my sinless Savior standing accused before a human governor so that I wouldn't have to stand condemned before a Holy God. At 9 a.m., I'll stop and consider the excruciating pain the nails caused my Jesus as He was crucified for a people that had rejected Him and I'll sing, "None But Jesus." The lyrics of which include the phrase, "There is no one else for me, None but Jesus Crucified to set me free Now I live to bring Him praise." The crowd chose Barabbas, but I choose Jesus. At Noon, I'll turn out the lights and remember that the dieing of the Son, dimmed the sun. And then, at 3 p.m. on Friday, I plan to stop whatever I'm doing and consider, truly meditate on the truth, that at that hour, Jesus surrendered His spotless spirit as payment for my soiled soul. And then I am sure I'll experience why we call the day, Good Friday.

I Belong to Christ

2009-03-31T13:21:00.000-07:00

Romans 14:8 was a challenge and a comfort to me today. I have a tendency to worry about outcomes.

What will happen if...? kind of worries.

Paul summarizes all of life's outcomes into two categories: living and dying. And to my joyful wonder, the ultimate outcome isn't dependant on whether I am living or dead. Paul simply says, "we belong to the Lord."

Christ owns me, bought with His own blood. That is a challenge because it means I can't choose to do with my life whatever I want to do with it. My life is His. When I attempt to live it for myself, I'm a captive straining at the chain. When I live it for Him, I am a son accompanying His Father on an amazing journey. Most often we feel the constriction of Christian life because we want the benefit of heaven without the abandonment of self on earth. So we call on Christ as Lord but live as if our life was our own. The atonement price accepted on our behalf puts us in his ownership and under His Lordship control. Living for ourselves is, "kicking against the goads (pricks)" Acts 26:14. The pricks or goads were used by shepherds to prod their animals, motivating them to move forward. It means that its difficult and painful to resist the Lordship influence of Christ. I don't want to kick back at His prodding. I don't want to strain at the chain.

Father, help me to relax in the security of being your possession. Free me from worrying about the outcomes of the thousand different trials and struggles I'll face while living on the planet. Help me to blissfully follow you, untroubled by where we are going. Remind me that if I live, I'm yours. If I die, I'm yours. I belong to You.

Sincerity

2009-03-27T20:04:00.000-07:00

In 2 Chronicles 1, Solomon and his men approach God. God asks a wonderful, blank check kind of question. First, I love it that God can offer blank checks. Not a how many zeros can I fit on the check offer but an offer that carries infinite redemption. God says, "Ask, what shall I give you." Old Testament kings could make offers like that. Sometimes they would say, "up to half my kingdom." Pharoah offered Joseph the Vice Presidency of Egypt (so to speak). I get lost in all that God can offer: a galaxy, a planet, power, position, fame, money, friends, unlimited this or unlimited that. He has everything to give and gives freely of that which is most valuable, Himself. And from Himself flows wisdom, grace, love, peace and hope.

In this case, Solomon knew he needed wisdom to rule Israel. God grants him wisdom and all the things he could have asked for and didn't: money, wealth and fame. Each unprecented and never to be surpassed. What intrigues me most about this dialogue is the context God attributes to His additional blessings. He says to Solomon, "Because you had this in mind..." Not because you asked for this. Solomon didn't want one thing but ask for another. Wisdom was the very thing that he truly desired. His request was sincere. I thought about how many times I ask, "according to God's will" more because I'm trying to impress Him than because I truly desire His will. Solomon challenges me to be sincere in my prayer and to be honest when I recognize my desire is not inline with God's will.

Father, you know my heart and what I want. Purge me of lesser desires until all I long for is You. Teach me to be patient and not ask you for blessings until my motives are pure and my passion is for your glory.

Legacy

2009-03-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

King David's life story comes to a close in I Chronicles 28 and 29. In chapter 28, David commissions Solomon to build the temple. The chapter then lists all the things David has provided Solomon pertaining to the construction of the temple: architectural drawings, job descriptions, organizational charts, schematics for each item including weight of the item, etc. In addition, through collections, David personal contributions and the contributions of other leaders, there was literally thousands of tons (that's right, tons) of gold, silver, bronze and iron. In today's economy and valuation, the gold would have been worth more than $100 billion and the silver worth more than $5 billion. It boggles the mind. When I consider how thourough David was in providing this legacy I am challenged to consider the fiscal legacy I am leaving for my daughters and son. Will they be provided for if I am gone before they are grown? But more than that, I consider my spiritual legacy. Have I helped them discover God's plan for their lives? Have I shown them the immense value of God's word? What kind of example have I been?

David's example, for all his positive qualities, was lacking. We see evidence of his example even in Chapter 28. In verse 5, David says, "and out of all my sons -- for the Lord has given me many sons -- He has chosen my son Solomon..." He rightly attributes to the Lord the number of his sons but in doing so obscures the co-reality that the number of his sons is also due to the number of his wives. He had a least six, probably more. While this was in harmony with the culture of the time it was in conflict with God's command.

Deuteronomy 17:17 says regarding the king, "He shall not multiply wives for himself, or else his heart will turn away."

Solomon went on to have more than 300 wives and 600 wives.

My children will never be kings of a nation, nor will they build a billion dollar temple to house the very presence of God. But, they will each be the temple of the Holy Spirit and will work, in whatever capacity God leads them to, to build His kingdom.

Father, help me to provide a Godly example for my children. Help me to be a man after your heart that can provide a priceless spiritual legacy. Lead me to teach them about your plans and provision for their lives. Let them see Jesus in me.

Living with a Zombie

2009-03-17T18:40:00.000-07:00

Its amazing how fast time flies. I haven't had time to blog lately but have had some good devotional times. Romans is rich. Matthew is still pure Jesus. I am glad Romans 7 was written. I wish it wasn't true. I know the same frustration Paul expresses when he talks about doing what he doesn't want to do and not doing what he does want to do. Paul, who refers to himself in another place as, "the chief of sinners." He describes sin as a cancer living in him that causes him to sin, "I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me." Sometime its like being a puppet on a string. I can almost feel the "body of death" mentioned in vs. 24 living overlapped on my. As if cell adjacent to cell, this body lives with me, so that when the temptation to sin comes on me, it is truly as if every fiber of my being wants to sin while all of me also refuses to sin. This context helps me to better understand the instruction from 6:11 to "consider yourselves dead to sin." I am dead to sin because my natural self was crucified with Christ. So I am living with a zombie. Though he is dead, he still expresses desire. Just like the old movie zombies that walk aimlessly, arms outstretched and moaning. I prefer these to the newer movie zombies which seem to have learned to run.

The trouble with zombies is they seem strong and alive.

So I have to keep reminding myself that the zombie me is dead and is no match for the living Spirit that reigns within me. Because Jesus was resurrected, life conquers death.

Father help me to live dead to sin. Show me the decay of sinfulness. Don't let me be fooled by the appearance of life in the old me. And help me to ruthlessly slay the zombie within.

Hold me close

2009-03-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

So much today. Ornan saying, "I give it all." David saying, "I will not offer...offerings that cost me nothing." Paul saying, "God proves His own love for us, in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us!" and "through one righteous act there is life-giving justification for everyone."

We observed the Lord's Supper Sunday. Its got me thinking about how the words of Paul wrap up Ornan's and David's words. Jesus gave it all, at a high price, to reach out to me while I was still actively fighting against Him. He is so powerful, that it took only one act for Him to provide life to the whole world.

Salvation is such a precious gift!

Then I consider David in 1 Chronicles 20. It was spring. He should have been at war with his armies but he stayed home. Joab led David's armies to conquer and they brought back the crown of a foriegn king. As they placed the golden crown on his head, David discovered it weighed 75 pounds. The weight of his success, in physical form, sat on his head. While the weight of his guilt hung heavy on his heart.

We want to say, "I give it all." But what comes out of our mouth is, "Give me it all." We want to pray, "I will not offer...offerings that cost me nothing." Instead we respond to His call with, "How much is this going to cost me?" We want to enjoy "life-giving justification" but get distracted by pretty, golden things, like an earthly crown that weigh us down, steal our joy and hang our head in shame.

Father thank you for saving me. Thank you for daily rescuing me. Thank you for giving me life and a place to stand. Thank you for not treating me as my sin deserves. Free me from distractions that pull me away from you. "Draw me close to you, never let me go."

This far

2009-03-09T20:04:00.001-07:00

A few days ago I read from 1 Chron. 17. David decides he should be a permament Temple for the Ark instead of the tent that has been in use for generations. But God responds through Nathan, "No... Solomon will build the temple." It would be so easy for David to throw a hissy and stomp his feet. But David didn't focus on what he was not allowed to do but on what God had already done for him. God reminded him that he had taken him, "from the pasture and from following the sheep to be ruler over My people Israel." David's response was, "Who am I...that you brought me this far."

Father help me to be thankful for what you have already done and not jealous of what has not yet happend. Help me to be amazed that you would bring me this far with no ambition to go further unless it results in your Glory.

Lifting a finger

2009-03-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

I came across another interesting matching on the reading plan today. Matthew 23:1-12 and Romans 2:17-29. Both target the Pharisees for being hypocrites. Jesus says in Matthew, "But don't do what they do, because they don't practice what they teach." Paul in Romans expands that thought with a series of questions one of which was, "You who boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law?" It was also very convicting for me as pastor. Jesus accused the Pharisee teachers of "tie[ing] up heavy loads that are hard to carry and put[ting] them on people's shoulders, but [being] unwilling to lift a finger to move them." Paul quotes Ezekiel the prophet as saying, "The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you."

I long to be the kind of teacher that infuses grace into every teaching without compromising the instruction. I want people to see both the seriousness of holiness and the splendor of mercy. There is such joy in obedience. But we cannot chase the joy by adding rules that God did not command. Those rules do not multiply the joy. They increase guilt and self righteousness.

At the same time, it is a heavy burden to know I am forbidden from preaching an exhortation to eliminate sin if I have not dealt with that sin in my own life. There are so many areas where I am painfully aware of how short I fall of God's intent. So on those frequent occasions, I put myself in the pew and listen to what God is saying through me. I often don't stand in front but beside the members of my church as we each work to lay aside the "sin that so easily besets" us.

Father, thank you for the perfect righteousness that Christ has given me, only plea. It allows me to stand before you unashamed. Please help me to grow in holiness. Help me to be more like Christ. But also help me to be appropriately transparent in my current struggles and never prideful over the victories you have granted me. Help me to boast only in the cross and let the victories the cross has won for me encourage me to do more than lift a finger to help others in their pursuit of holiness. Use all of me to free the captives.

Soft Conviction

2009-03-04T05:16:00.000-08:00

I read part of Romans 2 this morning. "Or do you despise the riches of His kindness, restraint and patience, not recognizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance." Romans 2:4

Sometimes I get caught up thinking about all the times God has chastised me and there are many. I am thankful for that correction but cringe to remember those times. But then there is Rom. 2:4. How many times has God not punished me when I deserved His heavy hand? So often He offers His patience instead of punishment. That is not to say He is either permissive or silent. Rather He has sent a soft conviction, a gentle whisper that came at the worst moment of my sin. In the middle of my shame, I've heard Him say, "I love you." And oh how that's broken my heart more than any other phrase.

Father, thank you for your kindness. There is no worship loud enough to honor you for your patience. There is no song strong enough nor melody majestic enough to extol your self control. There is only one step in a simple dance. I'll turn around in your gentle arms. Please take my repentance as rejoicing.

Celebration

2009-03-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

(I Chronicles 13:8) "David and all Israel were celebrating with all their might..." They were taking the Ark home and were excited about it. The procession was highlighted with energetic praise. Two types of stringed instruments, two types of percussion instruments and a woodwind instrument are listed. My favorite phrase is, "with all their might." They were singing and playing with everything they had. It was unfettered, unpretentious, unashamed worship. How I long to worship the same way, not worried about my voice (which can't seem to follow the music), not worried about those around me, but rather enjoying their presence and the offering of praise they are bringing. As energetic as it was, this was not a charismatic chaos. They were not just hooping and hollering with such a strange abandon that the worshippers became the focus. God was the focus. God is worthy of energetic, passionate worship but He is also a God of order. Five types of instruments blended to the music of the songs they sung. And one man died because they did not follow the proper procedure for carrying the ark. It was meant to be carried by Levites bearing poles passed through rings on the sides. Instead, they put it up on a cart dragged by oxen. When the oxen stumbled, the ark jostled and Uzzah tried to steady it with his hand. The ark was holy and was not meant to be touched. So God struck Him dead.

How I long to approach my Holy, Perfect God offering Him worship with energy, worship with excellence. My soul longs after God, "when can I go and meet with God."

Help me to listen

2009-02-28T18:51:00.000-08:00

Today's reading was an interesting mix, Acts 28 and Matthew 21. In Acts 28, Paul arrives in Rome and testifies. Many of the Jews there rejected his message, though some believed. This fulfilled prophesy. In light of this, Paul told them he was going to the Gentiles. This scene fits with the parable Jesus told in Matthew 21 about the vineyard owner. At the end of this parable, Jesus told his Pharisee listeners that, "the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a nation producing its fruit." In both cases, the Gospel was being sent to a different people because the Jews, the chosen people were not listening. Paul made the emphatic statement regarding the Gentiles, "They will listen." I understand that this exchange is specific to God's redemptive plan coming first to a chosen nation and then to the world. There will never be another chosen nation. However, America has been divinely blessed because of the overwhelming number of people who have given their lives to Christ throughout our history. Its sadly ironic that revisionist historians have tried to write out the Christian heritage of our nation. Ironic, because though we are clearly a nation founded on Christian principles, we are fast becoming a Godless nation. Try as they may, they cannot wipe away our history. But it's not our history that I'm worried about.

It's the future.

Will the day come when the populous of our nation has so thoroughly rejected the Gospel that it fades from the voices of our citizens? Those sweet sounds of salvation have soothed many an ear, but have been stopped by deaf hearts. "Ever listening but never understanding," Paul said. I certainly hope not. I still long for revival. I still believe it may come, if God were to be so gracious to us that He would rake the quiet coals of our cooling hearts and stoke the fires of a fervent faith. It may come, if the Spirit of God spoke with a voice like thunder. It may come. It may come, if we will hear it. If we will tolerate the truth long enough for it to change us. If we will listen not just with a practiced passivity but with practical passion.

Father, help me to listen to you. Help me to never be guilty of ignoring your voice. Please don't stop speaking to me, guiding me, instructing me, correcting me and chastising me. Help me to long for your voice, listen for your voice. Lead me with your voice.
"Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me." Psalm 51:11

Servant

2009-02-26T08:37:00.000-08:00

I've just been fascinated with Paul lately. I am reading in Matthew, Acts and 1 Chronicles but its the actions of Paul that have caught my attention the most. In Acts 28, Paul and all the men (prisoners and guards) have made it safely to the shore after the shipwreck. Already exhuasted from weeks at sea, battleing the storm and suffering from starvation, they then had to paddle from the wreck to the shore on pieces of the ship. It was still raining so the kind, local people built a fire for the survivors. Then comes vs. 3. I usually skip to the end of the verse where Paul is bitten by a viper because vs. 5 tells me he shook the snake off and was not harmed. Some extreme groups have taken this verse as encouragement to handle snakes as part of worship to demonstrate the power of the Spirit at work in their lives. I've never thought that, but I have pictured mighty Paul, preacher, healer, leader, standing impervious to even a deadly snake, slinging that serpent off.

I read vs. 3 closer this morning.

Paul was gathering wood.

Paul, exhausted, terribly hungry, tired, storm beaten, just survived a shipwreck was gathering wood. Paul, chosen specifically by Jesus through a special encounter to be His apostle, was gathering wood. Paul, on his way to Rome, the heart of the empire, to be a witness for God was gathering wood. How easily he could have sat down by the fire to rest his tired body. How justified he would have been to wait on the natives to gather the wood. They started the fire. But even then he modeled Jesus who came "not to be served, but to serve." Paul was pouring his life out serving others.

Paul gathered wood.

Father, help me to have a servants heart like Jesus, modeled by Paul. Take away my selfishness and give me strength to serve others. Help me never to think that whether by position or personality I deserve to be waited on. Give me opportunities to stack chairs, wash dishes, fold tables, brush my daughters hair, pick up trash, clean counters, refill drinks, open doors... to gather firewood, wash feet, break bread. Help me be a servant!

Faith to stand (Acts 27)

2009-02-24T20:12:00.000-08:00

It had been more than a week since they threw most of the food out. The men were starving. It had been several days since anyone had seen the sun or the stars. Without those constants there was no way of knowing where they were or what direction they were headed. And the storm wouldn't stop. It raged agianst the ship, clawing at it, tearing it apart. At any moment it seemed they'd be capsized as wave after wave swamped the deck. Whether by drowning or starvation everyone on board knew they were going to die. They sat, tied to the ship, waiting for death.

Hope was fading like the distant memory of food, dry clothes and stable land.

Then Paul stood up.

Hunger should have made his knees feeble. Lack of hope should have kept his head hanging between them. The heaving of the ship should have stolen his footing. But he stood!

Looking down into the hollowed eyes of tired and frightened men, Paul delivered a message of hope. "The ship will be lost, but you won't die. I believe God." It wasn't some new weather forecast, a hidden stash of food or the sight of land in which Paul put his trust. The storm, the starvation and the stranded ship were still there. In that dark hour, the center piece, the crux of his hope shines through in the statement, "I believe God."

Father, when the hour is dark and there is nothing left to trust in but you, help me say with confidence, "I believe God." Help me not be discouraged by circumstances but courageous in spite of them. When everyone else has given up, tied themselves to a sinking ship and slumped over waiting for the end, help me to stand up, exhort them and lead them to safety. Give me faith to stand!

God is Generous

2009-02-22T06:04:00.000-08:00

There is an overpass in Fort Worth, just south of the downtown area where day laborers gather waiting for someone with an odd job to drive by and give them a chance to earn a few dollars. Everyday they wait. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they don't. Matthew 20 and the parable of the landowner and vineyard workers reminds me of this spot. God is the landowner. A denarius was the standard pay for a full day's work. During Jesus time, a man was fortunate to have the chance to earn this wage. In the parable, we are the day laborers waiting in the marketplace for a chance to work. Some of the laborers worked the whole day, others a portion of the day and a few worked just an hour. The first workers felt cheated because the landowner was generous to the workers who started late in the day.

They missed it.

The later workers may have only labored for an hour but they spent the day in fear. Milling around the marketplace, their thoughts would have been with their familes. They wondered if there would be bread to eat that evening. Would their children go to bed hungery? And what about the debt collector who had the power to throw them in prison if the debts were not paid. All day long they would have stewed in this stress. As the final hour of the work day arrived their hope faded. Just then, the generous landowner (God) arrived to give them purpose and pay.

Sure those hired first worked hard all day. They expected to do that and they got paid a fair price for their work. Their attitude at pay time tells me they missed the joy of serving, of knowing that at the end of the day they would be able to provide for their family.

Father thank you for being so generous. Thank you for giving me a life free of worry over what will happen to me at the end of days. Thank you for generous salvation, generous joy, generous hope. Thank you for giving me purpose. Help me not to be critical of those who recieve you later in life after having spent years in selfish pursuits. Help me remember the futility of sin and the heartache they endured before they knew you. Help me rejoice in their salvation and welcome them to the vineyard.

"I do not refuse to die"

2009-02-21T07:07:00.000-08:00

At the time of Acts 25, Paul had been in prison for two years. When the new Roman governor Festus arrived in Jerusalem he went to hear the Jews case against Paul. It had been two years and yet the Jews contempt and malice toward Paul still had a strong heartbeat. (It is difficult to stand under the scornful stare of another.) Paul's career was accented by the abuse others heaped on him. They were his finest hours as he modeled Christlikeness in the face of false accusations and evil intentions. There stood Paul before a pagan ruler who was favorable to the Jews. He was surrounded by his accusers. (25:7) Bombarded by their lies and embattled by the brute on the bench, Paul says with confidence, "I do not refuse to die,"

I do not refuse to:
- "Give the last full measure of devotion"
- "Count my life worth nothing"
- "Surrender all"
- "Give what I cannot keep to gain what I cannot lose"
- Put aside the mortal to be clothed in immortality

But so often God calls on me to make a sacrifice, to die to self or surrender my will and I refuse to die. I refuse to abandon my way for His way. I maintain a death grip on a dead body fighting for what satisfies my flesh instead of what pleases my Father. I refuse to die to a dead world that through me the message of new life might come to the dead and bring resurrection.

Father, help me to take up my cross daily and follow your Son. Help me to lay my life down in service until you take away this temporary body and clothe me in a new imperishable one. Help me to answer your call for sacrifice with, "I do not refuse to die."